The Tripod Insider
IN THIS ISSUE
Get the lowdown on this week's newsletter.
– Deadly comet hurtles toward the Earth!
– Tripod to charge users $20 for every page view!
– The Insider Diva goes one week without complaining ...
THE INSIDER
News and gossip from the Insider Diva
A few notes of interest to Tripod members:
* Builder Bucks will now be paying members in Japanese Yen.
* Member-site ads will now take up your entire browser; the small
pop-ups will contain a shrunken version of your site.
* We're keeping an eye on you.
* If your member name contains a consonant, we've accidentally
signed you up for the French Foreign Legion. Oops! Sorry about that!
* We're starting a new mailing promotion: FREE SPAM! That's right;
that delicious mystery meat will now be sent to your door. To sign
up, find the mystery link somewhere on the Tripod site.
Now for some office gossip:
* In an inebriated state, HR manager Candy went bowling and started
a brawl with three ladies from the local bowling league. Although she
admits to mocking their performance, Candy denies trying to force the
ladies' hands into the ball retriever. We heard, though, that one of
them needed stitches. You show 'em, Candy!
Last Friday's Spring Kick-Off After-Hours Party got a little wild.
Old Tripod favorite Gerard told off his boss, 23-year-old wunderkind
Flo. Boy, was that vicious! Flo got so upset, she socked him in the
gut. Lana unveiled a four-and-a-half-hour slide show of her trip to
her grandmother's house in Florida. (Joy.) And Webmaster Shermy actually
put his one good eye up for auction on a popular Web site. The bidding
is currently up to $5,000. (He said something nasty to Flo once, and she
punched him in the other eye.)
INSIDER SPONSORS
This is where you should be spending your greenbacks.
Listen and win! WiredPlanet.com brings you FREE streaming MP3 music and
FREE contests. Enter to win a Casio GPS watch, a Boblbee Urban Backpack,
some cool WiredPlanet gear, and more. Play now!
Rake in the dough with your own online casino. Get one FREE!
BUILDING TIPS AND TRICKS
Find the latest and greatest homepage-building malfunctions here!
NEW! Get FREE online storage for your files that you can instantly
access and share from anywhere! Now your important files are always
safe and available to you wherever you go. Back up your site, store MP3s,
or share documents with business partners — all on Driveway.com.
**Here's tip number 13 (in a series of 49) from Webmonkey.**
Anticipation can be a wonderful thing. Keep your visitors on the edges
of their seats by putting lots of slow-downloading images on your site.
Find out how height-and-width attributes within image tags can speed up
the load time of your images. Not that you'd want that.
Now that the Oscars have come and gone, let's consider some of the motion
picture industry's legacy: Pauly Shore headlined five movies; the Police
Academy saga boasted seven installments; and there were — good heavens!
— ten Ernest movies! A toad could make better entertainment than that,
and you're no toad! Use ShowMotion to publish your own videos to the Web
— show Hollywood how it's done!
MEMBERSHIP QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Get the inside dirt on some of the questions most frequently fielded by
our freaky, sprout-eating membership department.
Q: Why do my fingers turn blue when I try to access my Tripod page?
A: We're glad you asked. That's our new Super-Duper Private Page
Protector. Every time you try to access your page from now until the end
of time, your fingers will turn blue as you begin to type. Unfortunately,
the Protector doesn't always work; you may be able to access your site
at random intervals during the night.
DEALS FOR MEMBERS
We know how (ahem) careful you are with your money. Check out these
great deals.
Tired of listening to the same old CDs? Spice up your collection with
barnesandnoble.com's new releases! Browse their huge selection of the
latest CDs and stock up on some soon-to-be favorites, including *NSYNC,
Ice Cube, and the Fatboy Slim/Norman Cook Collection. Check it out now!
Get healthy. Get informed. Visit WebMD for the latest in health and
wellness information. Do it now, before rigor mortis sets in.
Checked your credit lately? Get quick, secure online viewing of the
information that lenders, insurance companies, and even some
employers use to make important decisions. Become an informed
consumer with Equifax.
SUPER MEMBER SITES OF THE WEEK
They're Super. They're Members. They're Sites. Hence the name. http://www.tripod.lycos.com/member_spotlight/
High-school student by day, corporate-site designer by night, Dan has
built a Tori Amos shrine that would make the singer proud.
This eighth grader writes JavaScript, engages in e-commerce, and extols
the virtues of multiple-file uploads. All for the love of finger boarding.
Cooking for a crowd? Not a problem! It's like page building: add HTML,
throw in a little Java, and mix with Photoshop.
|
AND A BIG HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY TO YOU AND YOURS! |
If you have any questions or comments, keep them to yourself.
Anna Groskin
Insider Diva
To unsubscribe from The Insider, reply to this message with "Unsubscribe"
in the subject line. We'll then send you angry hate mail. You can also
change your subscription status here:
Can't you keep track of anything? Find a lost password here.
You have just finished browsing through the good bits of the April Fool's
edition of The Insider, the weekly fish wrap about the oh-so-trendy
folks who cash paychecks here at Tripod. Past issues of The Insider are
available, although why you'd want to read old news is beyond us.
Tripod, Inc.
160 Water Street
Williamstown, MA 01267
http://www.tripod.lycos.com
